It has always been about Him!

Recently, I was overcome with a case of stubbornness. I started viewing my life as a Christian differently. I began thinking that I had all the answers. I was getting tired of hearing the same old questions over and over again. Listening to people deal with the same problems. I even starting tell God what to do... It was a rough time. I wanted things to be about me, and I didn't want to listen to feedback or get support.

One night came around, I was eagerly waiting for it. All of my friends were returning from summer breaks. I had a list of people to talk to, and to meet. I had been excited for a long time. However when this day came, and all my friends were joined in one place, God showed up and messed up all my plans.

A conversation about God came up with a friend of mine, I felt the Spirit Leading me to pursue and develop this conversation. Now don't get me wrong, I love talking about God, but in this moment, I really didn't want to. I knew this conversation would go on all night, and even if it was fruitful, I really wanted to see my friends. I even tried to change the subject, and get out of the conversation to get back with my friends. That was when I started to feel almost sick. God spoke into my heart, and commanded me to have this conversation. I obeyed, but remember thinking to myself, "God you better explain yourself later." I felt this way, because I said that I was commanded to have this conversation, I wasn't asked, it was a very different feeling.

I spent all night talking with this person about God. The conversation was very fruitful, and I was actually very grateful that I got to participate in such a great talk. When I got home, I thanked God for the fruit that came from the conversation, but deep down, I still was a little upset I didn't get to see my friends. Not to mention I felt almost insulted by the way which I felt I was commanded to do something.

"God I didn't want to do that," I found myself thinking. God spoke to me, "Its never been about you." I was almost jaw dropping shocked. These words were painted on my heart. He was absolutely correct. It wasn't about me. Who am I to feel insulted when God Almighty asks me to do something. He reminded me that I am a servant, and that on Oct 16th from several years ago, I made a commitment to lay down the things that I wanted, for the things that He wanted. It has always been about Him!

I felt terrible for the way which I had approached my faith. The way which I had forgot the meaning of reverence, and the sacrifices that took place for me to be able to communicate with God himself so openly.
"Ok, Father, you're right, It has and will always be about you, Please reveal to me how I can serve you tomorrow." It was a very humbling moment and prayer. But nevertheless, it has been very fruitful. God has blessed me by revealing to me how I can be a servant each day. It was in that moment, I realized that being 'commanded' by God to do anything, isn't insulting, but an honor.